A Letter

To whom it may concern,

They were all right, you know. Your mothers and your fathers. Your grandparents, in the way they could see right into your future. They’ve been here already, you see. Right in the shoes you thought belonged to only you.

Your mother had her heart broken into beautiful pieces like that boy did to you all those years ago. Your grandfather gave his hands to his work the same way the callouses on your palms grow bigger by the day.

You’re important. What you do and what happens to you matters. But don’t go out there thinking no one could possibly understand what’s swirling around in your mind.

Let people in. Let people understand. Because they’re the ones who are going to help you through.

With love.



It’s Rabbit Season

Or rather, job hunting season. The hunt continues this week, but I’m still feeling good about things. I’ve applied to a handful of places already, followed up with a couple, and I still have more resumes to hand out to whomever will take them. I’m still in that sweet phase of life where I don’t really have to consider a “grown up” job yet, although I suppose that’s looming closer on the horizon, I just try to keep it out of my peripherals. Trying to enjoy these next few years for what they are.

Knoxville has been good to us so far. We haven’t been here very long, but things are settling right in. The boyfriend has had a great couple of first days at his job (his boss even used the word “outstanding”), so I’m not worried about him at all. The apartment gets better every day, and soon enough we’ll be in our little routine.

I’m excited to get back into the Smokies again, the mountains where I grew up. I haven’t had a chance to get lost in those beautiful hills in a while, so I’m impatient to get back out there. The boyfriend and I have a swimming trip planned soon.

All in all, things are good. Life is delicious. And being back home is grand.


Moving Daze

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I’ve let my blog fall behind because I’ve been wrapping up the last days at my job and packing up everything I own into boxes. The boyfriend’s job moved us up to Knoxville, where we managed to find a great apartment that’s right in the middle of everything. We’re close to downtown without having to deal with the downtown traffic. We’re right behind a great bookstore, and we have access to 3 grocery stores and countless local restaurants. We honestly could not have picked a better place to live.

Now, we’re just trying to get everything settled after a bit of a moving disaster (the truck I rented didn’t work out, and we wound up getting a trailer and had to make a couple trips between Chattanooga and Knoxville). The new apartment is feeling like home already, and I think it will be a place we’ll be able to enjoy for a while. (Pictures will come as soon as it doesn’t look like a mess anymore.)

I’m currently on the job hunt. The boyfriend is getting ready for his first day of work today. Things are really looking up!


July 4th

I’m a day late to the party, but I had a very nice 4th of July. Well a nice 3rd anyway. I went home to see my family, and we went hiking in Big South Fork to the Twin Arches. It’s a short hike, but very beautiful. 

We helped a turtle cross the road on the way in, and we saw a rattlesnake on the trail. The arches themselves were amazing as always. 

On the way home, we drove through this tiny town called Rugby. It was settled in the 1800’s by some British people as a utopian society. They have a sweet little library where they have an annual book cleaning to preserve the books and the history. The church is equally adorable. All of the houses there are well kept and still maintain the feel of the Victorian period. If you go, just be sure to keep your eyes peeled because Rugby is so small, you might miss it. 

Later, we picked up my nephew from day care and got to hang out with him for a little bit before my sister came to get him. I constantly miss him when I’m in Chattanooga, so I love getting every chance to see him. 

I worked the actual day of the 4th, but it was a great weekend. And I’m glad to have spent it with my family. 


Richard Bruatigan

I came across this several years ago, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read:

I was trying to describe you to someone a few days ago. You don’t look like any girl I’ve ever seen before.

I couldn’t say “Well she looks just like Jane Fonda, except that she’s got red hair, and her mouth is different and of course, she’s not a movie star…”

I couldn’t say that because you don’t look like Jane Fonda at all.

I finally ended up describing you as a movie I saw when I was a child in Tacoma Washington. I guess I saw it in 1941 or 42, somewhere in there. I think I was seven, or eight, or six.

It was a movie about rural electrification, a perfect 1930’s New Deal morality kind of movie to show kids. The movie was about farmers living in the country without electricity. They had to use lanterns to see by at night, for sewing and reading, and they didn’t have any appliances like toasters or washing machines, and they couldn’t listen to the radio. They built a dam with big electric generators and they put poles across the countryside and strung wire over fields and pastures.

There was an incredible heroic dimension that came from the simple putting up of poles for the wires to travel along. They looked ancient and modern at the same time.

Then the movie showed electricity like a young Greek god, coming to the farmer to take away forever the dark ways of his life. Suddenly, religiously, with the throwing of a switch, the farmer had electric lights to see by when he milked his cows in the early black winter mornings. The farmer’s family got to listen to the radio and have a toaster and lots of bright lights to sew dresses and read the newspaper by.

It was really a fantastic movie and excited me like listening to the Star Spangled Banner, or seeing photographs of President Roosevelt, or hearing him on the radio “… the President of the United States… “

I wanted electricity to go everywhere in the world. I wanted all the farmers in the world to be able to listen to President Roosevelt on the radio….

And that’s how you look to me.


Blue Hole

The boyfriend came to visit last weekend, and since I was scheduled to work every single day, we had to squeeze in as much time together as possible. Which meant we had about five full days jam packed into three. But that was alright by us.

Friday began with blueberry pancakes and coffee. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a chance to do much else besides watch a movie because I had to work in the early afternoon. So the boyfriend wandered around town while I worked the closing shift. He did manage to wander right into a Ludacris concert. Chattanooga is full of surprises.

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On Saturday, we woke up extra early so we could go hiking. At 6:15 a.m., we managed to muster up enough awareness to get ready for the day, and we headed to the coffee shop at which I work. We were the first customers of the day, and we revived our tired brains with some coffee before we hit the road.

Our destination was Laurel Snow State Natural Area in Dayton, TN. But we never actually made it. The map on my phone led us to what looked like an abandoned road that was chained shut by a rusted gate. And then my phone lost service, so we couldn’t even look for an alternate route.

After much grumbling (on my part), we decided to head to the tried and true Blue Hole in Soddy Daisy.

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It’s this really amazing place. Blue Hole is an easy hike that follows a creek for a few miles, and all along the trail are places to swim in the water. Its name comes from the swimming holes found all through the creek where the water is a deep blue color. We had the whole place to ourselves for a while before the crowds hit, and it was absolutely perfect.

On Sunday, I worked the dreaded 10-6 shift, so the boyfriend spent the whole day by himself. And while I was at work, he filled the gas tank up in my car and tided up around my apartment. He even went to the local farmers market and bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, some farm fresh peaches, and some leafy green kale. It was such a nice surprise after a very long shift.

The boyfriend had to leave almost as soon as I was home, but we managed to have a full and wonderful weekend.